What happens when we are welcoming?
By Rabbi Corinne Copnick
Rabbi Copnick is a Governor of the multi-denominational Sandra Caplan Community Bet Din (rabbinic court) in Los Angeles and serves as a Dayan (rabbinic judge)) for conversion.
Once the growing number of those who express the desire to convert to Judaism have taken this life-changing step, they are no longer called converts. They are simply Jews, often referenced with the honorific “Jews-by-choice.” During the conversion process, they take Hebrew names, sometimes commemorating known Jewish ancestors in previous generations. Since its inception in 2002, California’s Sandra Caplan Community Bet Din (a rabbinic court using the awe-inspiring facilities of American Jewish University’s mikveh (ritual immersion) in Los Angeles), has celebrated 500 conversions.
Traditionally, the Jewish religion has not sought converts. In fact, through the ages, a prospective convert has usually been required to ask a rabbi three times before being admitted to the conversion process, and the course of study is long and difficult. What is so remarkable about the Sandra Caplan Bet Din is its welcoming attitude to would-be Jews. Why put obstacles in their way? Jews-by-choice strengthen our community.
Who are these Jews-by-choice?
If we take a look at only seven profiles of people who became Jews-by-choice between 2002 -2017, their occupations range from a communicator for tribal government to a television producer, a graduate student in clinical psychology, a health educator, a woman in the fashion industry, an advertising and marketing professional, and a stay-at-home mom of two young boys. They come from different backgrounds and cover a range of ages, including infants. But they all have one thing in common: a strong desire to join the Jewish people, spiritually, religiously, and with their own communal efforts. They are willing to dedicate themselves to studying Jewish history, religion, tradition, festivals, customs and, finally, sponsored by a rabbi familiar with their personal journey, an interview by three designated Dayans (rabbinic judges). Once they show that they are determined to undertake Jewish life, and, to make a Jewish home for themselves, their children or for those in their care, they are invited to make a Statement of Commitment to Judaism, to immerse themselves in the sanctified waters of a mikveh, and then be welcomed as Jews. Today, these seven people, represented by initials here, whose families are not Jewish, are all Jews-by-choice.
Usually, their birth families are not Jewish. It’s a huge decision to convert, even if they are planning to marry a Jewish person. Why do they do it? Is it the need for connection, the pull of the community, the sense of belonging, the social action focus? Most don’t anticipate the mystical power of the mikveh experience. Sometimes there are unexpected happenings.
C.B. explains that she had always felt a strong connection to what she calls “my Jewish soul.” It had always been a part of me, she says. “When I converted, when I emerged from the mikveh, “I was no different from the way I had always been.” Still, the road to becoming a Jew took different forms – studying with a rabbi one-to-one, participating in small study groups with others who wanted to become Jews, just thinking it through. Even then, it took a couple of years before she felt “ready” to enter the mikveh with her young daughter. The experience was “as indescribably exciting as the day I gave birth to her,” she remembers.
For C.R., a political and non-profit consultant, who is married with two children, a son and daughter, it was also “a peak life moment” when she entered the mikveh with her twelve-year-old daughter who wanted to have a Bat Mitzvah, the ceremonial moment of accepting adult responsibility for following the tenets of Jewish life. “She needed to be a Jew,” C.R., says simply. As for herself, she experienced “an immediate and powerful sense of belonging” when she converted to Judaism. She was already active at her Temple, serving on its Board.
The mikveh experience was also especially important to J.H., who runs a fashionable clothing boutique for women. She claims that, although she really didn’t know what to expect, it turned out to be “the most spiritual, uplifting moment of my life. Without a doubt, the high point of my conversion process was my experience of the mikveh. I came away feeling renewed and grounded. For the first time in a long while, I finally felt all the pieces of my life fit together perfectly.” She has taken the Hebrew name of her great-grandmother, who was Jewish. And, for J.H., the biggest surprise of all has been the “warm reception” she has been receiving from the Jewish community.
But, for P.D., a former teacher, there was no single moment that defined her conversion experience. Every single step along the way was important, she explains, helping her to reframe her past and contributing to the whole: from her initial decision to convert, to the classes she took with a rabbi, to the conversational encounter with three rabbis composing the “court” of the Bet Din. The rabbis asked why she wanted to convert and determined her motivation and educational and emotional readiness to take this big step. And afterwards? “It’s amazing,” she told us, “how attached I feel to Israel.” P.D. is already active in a number of Jewish organizations, among them AIPAC, JNF, and David Adom.
Among the Jews-by-choice – as among the Jewish people — are those of varied races, such as K.S., who is Japanese by birth but was adopted by a Jewish, Caucasian mother. K.S. particularly appreciates Judaism’s focus on education, history, and culture. The call to right action resonates deeply with him. He claims that, although his own self-introspection led to his eventual conversion, he loves “the focus on action” in Judaism, along with “the way of being.”
For B.D., the busy television producer, the restfulness of Shabbat was the determining factor in his decision to convert. Just to leave the work week behind and transition into Shabbat was bliss for him. Although his spiritual path has been very personal, he claims, he also loves the community aspect of Judaism. With his outgoing personality, he thoroughly enjoys hosting Passover Seders, for example, and, with his regular attendance at Shabbat services, he looks forward to greeting familiar faces.
The communal aspect of Jewish life is a big thing for many Jews-by-choice. J.S. calls it “experiencing the unspoken community,” something he had been looking forward to for a long time because he knew he had Jewish ancestors. It felt like he had finally come to his “true community.” He also values receiving his Certificate of conversion because “it was the culmination of all my striving.”
There were also some unexpected surprises for some of the Jews-by-Choice. J.L., who is a health educator, did not expect her birth family to be so accepting of her choice. “They were so happy and excited about my connection to God and spirituality. It rekindled their own connection to a spiritual path.” It was so wonderful to have her family with her all the way. J.L. loved sharing with them the studies of history and literature that preceded her conversion. In particular, she appreciated the emphasis on Social Justice. She has become an active member of her congregation.
As Shavuot approaches this weekend, when Jews everywhere stand symbolically on Mount Sinai together, as if receiving the Ten Commandmens in the present tense, we are also connecting to the preceding generations, And as Jews-by—chioice stand with us, they strengthen our community. Welcome!
©️Corinne Copnick, Los Angeles, 2018. All rights reserved.
Prepping for Passover
Rabbi Corinne Copnick
Exodus 2:2
“I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery.” (This verse begins the 10 commandments)
Exodus 12: 14-17: God declares Passover as a festival memorial day
“ And this day shall become a memorial for you, and you shall observe it as a festival for the L-RD, for your generations, as an eternal decree shall you observe it. For seven days you shall eat unleavened bread, but on the first day you shall remove the leaven from your homes … you shall guard the unleavened bread, because on this very day I will take you out of the land of Egypt; you shall observe this day for your generations as an eternal decree.”
Exodus 13: 3
“Commemorate this day, the day you came out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery, because the Lord brought you out of it with a mighty hand. Eat nothing containing yeast.”
Exodus 22: 20-23
“You shall not wrong a stranger, neither shall you oppress him, for you were strangers in the land of Egypt./ You shall not afflict any widow, or fatherless child./ If you afflict them in any way — for if they cry at all unto Me, I will surely here their cry. My wrath shall wax hot, and I will kill you with the sword; and your wives shall be widows, and your children fatherless.”
Leviticus 26:13
“I broke the bars of your yoke and enabled you to walk with heads held high.”
Amos 2:10
“I brought you up out of Egypt and led you for forty years in the wilderness to give you the land of the Amorites.”
(Other cross-references include Ex. 6:6, 15:16, 15:26, 20:1 29:46, Deut 5:6, 7:8. Judges 2:1, Isaiah 43:3, Jeremiah 2:6, 16:14, 34:13, Ezekiel 20:7, 20:19, and Psalm 81:18.)
(Excerpted from The Whipping Boy by Matthew Lopez)
“John: I was scared, Simon. I had no choice.
Simon: No. You’re free now. For the first time in your life, you do have a choice. You have a choice, and you made a choice. When you were beating that man to death, you made a choice. When you hear from Freddy Cole, you made a choice. When you lied to me about my family, you made a choice. I see the choices you made. They tell me all I need to know about the man you are, about the free man you’re gonna be. You don’t get to be free, you work to be free. It’s what we have been praying for tonight. What you should have learned from all your reading. Were we Jews or were we slaves? I know what you are. You ain’t no Jew. You ain’t even a man. You just a Nigger, John. Nigger, Nigger, Nigger John.
(Silence)”
(Excerpted from Religion, Politics, and the Healing Potential of Dialogue with Difference, by Rabbi Mel Gottlieb in The Huffington Post)
“…[If] one defines religion as a force to elevate humanity with a vision of the future that is permeated with Peace and Justice, it is reasonable and correct to peer out into the world and chart its progress and regress toward this ideal….But a stronger impulse inherent in the tradition, expressed by the Prophets and sages of all generations, expresses the mandate to enter the world and imbue it with values of justice, forbearance and compassions as partners in the ongoing creation of this future of peace….[While particularism promotes strengthening of identity and commitment to core values, it must not be at the expense of neglecting the universal mandate of creating a just world for all humanity.
“Some contemplative and introverted, God intoxicated temperaments, impacted by the awe of serving God are more comfortable to reach this goal through a withdrawal that leads to holiness, while others feel more comfortable to go out into the world and elevate society. Conflict arises when the boundaries of each position are strengthened and little communication exists between these two distinctive temperaments.”
(Excerpted from Putting God Second by Rabbi Donniel Hartman)
“Together with the love of neighbor came the hatred of the other. Together with kindness to those in need came the murder of this who disagreed. Monotheism became a mixed blessing and a double-edged sword.”….
“Religion will be saved from itself when navigating this tension is an integral part of religious commitment and the life of faith. Religion will be saved from itself, its autoimmune diseases [God intoxication and God manipulation] cured once and for all, when we recognize that by putting God second, we put God’s will first.”
A Cautionary Tale: “Washington Is Burning”
By Rabbi Corinne Copnick
www.washingtonisburning.com
My musician son-in-law, Ira Brown, a brain cancer survivor, has just released his digitally re-mastered, iconic statement-song, “Washington is Burning.” It is intended as a cautionary tale, originally written twenty years ago at the cusp of a new century. Hopefully our current, articulate, caring, post-millennial generation, at the threshold of their adult lives, will prevent a societal breakdown from happening in their own time.
When “Washington Is Burning” was first released in 1998, it was played repeatedly on many College Radio stations across the nation, charting in the top ten and rising to Number One on College Radio stations for many weeks.
What Happened in 1998?
For starters, an American President was impeached. Unsparing of the sordid details, radio and television stations and the print media (we did not yet have Facebook, launched in 2004, or the Social Media that accompanied its growth) relentlessly dissected President Bill Clinton’s affair with White House Intern Monica Lewinsky. Paula Jones accused him of sexual harassment. Finally, in December of that year, he was impeached. (The American public, however, still loved Bill because he loved them, and eventually he was forgiven.)
All this was happening against the chaotic, controversial background of the Iran disarmament crisis in the face of Iraq’s refusal to end its nuclear program. Nuclear tests took place in India and Pakistan. There were bombings at U.S. embassies abroad.
At home, nature was also taking its revenge through the devastating winter storms, destructive tornadoes, and floods caused by El Nino in a number of states. Gay rights issues came to the fore after a gay college student was tied to a fence, tortured by his classmates, and left to die. As if this were not enough, a number of killings, mass murders, and plots to kill took place in the U.S.: an abortion clinic bombing in Alabama in which people died; two white Nevada separatists plotting bio-warfare on the N.Y. City subway system; military grade anthrax threats; teenagers opening fire on classmates in Jonesboro, Arkansas; sentencing for the Oklahoma bombing; in Oregon a mentally-deranged boy with a semi-automatic rifle killed two and wounded 25, after killing his parents at home. In Los Angeles, there were the riots. And so on.
1998 was a year in which many good things happened too, but they were overshadowed in the public mind. Metaphorically, for most people, Washington, the embodiment of the American dream, was burning.
And now?
Now it is 2018. Sadly, “Washington is Burning” has become socially relevant again. Yes, it’s a cautionary tale, musically brought home. The post-millennials have been bombarded with images of horrible events on their computers and smart phones since they were born. In 2001, as babies, they experienced 9/11 and its aftermath. They began lock-down drills in nursery school. This is not the fearful atmosphere in which my grandchildren’s generation want to build their bright futures. It’s our job as a nation to give them the inspirational support to make a difference in our society.
Topical Artists, the record label launching “Washington is Burning,” was created by husband and wife team, Shelley Spiegel (my daughter!) and Ira Brown to support socially relevant music and art. In this new Alternative Rock version, Ira and his talented, teenage daughter, Rachel Genna, create a seamless vocal performance inspired by the call to action of millions of American voices in the midst of the turbulent political climate. Rachel is an anti-bullying activist in her own right.
Purchasers can opt to make a donation to Brain Cancer Research when they buy a copy of the song (https://washingtonisburning.com).
©️Corinne Copnick, Los Angeles, 2018. All rights reserved.
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#NeverAgain
By Rabbi Corinne Copnick
Like so many viewers across the country, I listened transfixed to deeply saddened but articulate young people tell personal stories about the traumatic school massacre at the Marjory Stoneham Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida that has impacted their lives. They spoke about their firm resolve to prevent such an event from occurring ever again in America. Their slogan “#Never Again” resonates, of course, with the remembered horror of WWII’s Holocaust. What occurred at the MSD High School in America was a Holocaust of a different kind in a different era in a different country, but it was similarly the outgrowth of a hatred, callousness, and cruelty that has been allowed to surface and grow in this country. A divided house cannot stand. Our country is crying out for a unified vision of putting love, not hate, into practice — a country where misguided people do not have the opportunity to bear arms against their fellow citizens. It’s time to stand up and speak out for the values we cherish in the interest of effecting legislative change. Perhaps my generation – the grandma and grandpa generation with adult grandkids – is getting too old, as Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel put it when he marched alongside Martin Luther King – to “pray with our feet,” but we can still function in a supportive role.
In the mid-1970s, with a professional background in Theatre Arts, I returned (some 20 years after my first degree) to McGill University to write my Master’s thesis about role-playing, sociodramatic simulations that were taking place in the Montreal area. At the time, a simulation game called “Guns or Butter” was often enacted (in person, not on video screens as they are today) in educational circles. During the play-out, participants had to make intelligent choices as to how their money would be used in a way that benefited society rather than their own personal greed. In another popular simulation game, “Starpower,” the economic elite would invariably develop a fortress mentality; the lower classes could only rise in society when an educated middle class gave them leadership. Later, together with my team, I created and directed my own large-scale, role-playing simulation “game,” “Future Directions,” supporting the unity of Canada at a time when talk of Quebec’s separation was rampant. Again people had to make choices that were larger than their own personal interest. Sociodramatic simulations have to be used with great caution, however, because they seem so “real” and evoke such deep emotions in the participants.
What is happening now in America is not a dramatic simulation. It is real. The emotions are real. The life-changing memories will remain. I am so proud of the teenagers of Parkland for the way in which they are conducting themselves in the face of real horror, real choices to make for the future. Our combined future.
I am also very proud of my own granddaughter, Samantha, just turned eighteen, and a senior in high school. She was attending a conference in Sacramento, California through the program called “Youth and Government” the same weekend the shooting at Parkland, Florida took place. Four thousand young people attended with the goal of learning how government works, how legislation works, how the courts work. She has been participating throughout the year in a local chapter of this group, which is sponsored by the YMCA. (Incidentally, she won the mock legal case she presented as a “lawyer” in front of a real judge.)
The day after my grand-daughter returned from Sacramento to L.A., her school went into lockdown because a credible threat had been received in the area. Like the students in Parkland, she texted her mother from her classroom in disbelief.
Yes, there are lots of ways to murder people in all kinds of venues – knives, bombs, ramming cars into crowds, chemical attacks – and for all kinds of demented reasons. Somehow our society has lost its way. As a country that professes to revere God, even on our currency – “in God we trust” — too many of us have forgotten to remember the biblical commandment, “You shall not murder (the Hebrew word is “murder,” not “kill”—so that, for example, you can “kill” someone in self-defense). It’s time to tie a string around the finger of our collective memory.
Not so incidentally, Jews are not supposed to hunt. In metaphorical recognition that human beings have been carnivores since Adam and Eve were cast out of the Garden of Eden and had to forage for a living, we can eat domestic animals. Even then, every single time that we do, we sanctify the animal first in order to remind ourselves that we are taking a life. But we do not eat animals that eat other animals, or those that are scavengers – or consume their blood. Those injunctions are intended in part to prevent us from cultivating our own blood lust. The kosher laws exist within a moral framework we do well to honor.
May God bless our nation and bring healing, togetherness, and the spirit of goodwill back to our society.
©️Corinne Copnick, Los Angeles, 2018. All rights reserved.
What Kind of Triumph are we Talking About?
By Rabbi Corinne Copnick
One good thing about getting older is that your memory is long, in this case historical memory based on facts, on events you have experienced. You remember things that are new to a millennial generation, and to the even younger people who are succeeding them. For example, the media announcements that our current leader is envisioning a military march to showcase our American strength set off warning bells for me. Liberty bells, you might say.
I was born in 1936. The first, never forgotten, military march I ever witnessed was in the arms of my father in Canada in 1939 when I was three years old. As we viewed the march of young soldiers parading in unison in Montreal’s streets through the slatted venetian blinds of his dental office, my father said to me, “I’ll soon be a soldier along with those young men, Corinki” (his pet name for me). “I’ll be in a uniform like that.”
And soon he was. Although he was a married man with two children and didn’t have to go, my father volunteered to fight Hitler along with other Canadians who answered Britain’s call for help from their allies in the Commonwealth (if you’ve seen the movie, “The Darkest Hour,” you’ll understand why). Canada – then the Dominion of Canada — entered World War II in 1939. The U.S., isolationist at the time, really didn’t want to be part of a European War, but was compelled to do so after the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor.
I still remember my mother almost collapsing when my father — now in military uniform instead of a white lab coat — told her he would be deployed overseas, and my father scooping her into his arms and carrying her into the living room. Children remember things like that long after the event has faded into history.
The next march that is engraved in my memory took place on a movie screen when I was a student at McGill University, which I entered at age 16. Our class was shown an infamous, controversial movie in order, despite its content, to demonstrate the best propaganda film ever made. An artful film made specifically in 1935 by writer/producer/director Leni Riefenstal as highly effective propaganda for the Third Reich, it was called “The Triumph of the Will.” It documented the Nazi Party Congress in Nuremberg, attended by more than 700,000 Nazi supporters. When I close my eyes today, I can still see the mesmerizing, filmed waves of uniformed men marching or raising their hands in a synchronized Nazi salute.
In 1932, before this propaganda film was made, my school teacher mother toured Europe with her graduating Macdonald College classmates. Along with another Jewish teacher, she was barred by German authorities from attending a celebratory party in Berlin given in the Canadian teachers’ honor. At the time, she didn’t understand why, but by the next year, 1933, Adolph Hitler and his Nazi party had already come to power in Germany. By 1936, Berlin was showcasing Germany’s victorious athletes as its government hosted the memorable Olympic games. Last night, I watched a current generation of superb Olympic athletes as they were televised competing in South Korea. Among the global athletes from over 170 countries, were those of the U.S., Canada, Israel, the U.K., Australia, Germany, Italy, Russia (under the banner of the Olympics instead) and, of course, the many countries of Asia, including Japan, China and both Koreas.
So that is how my personal memories of marches (aside from the annual Santa Claus parade in Montreal) are associated with imminent warfare, war in which thousands of valiant young people would be killed or wounded, sometimes beyond repair. That is why my warning bells are sounding.
Historical memory is a good thing. It can be very helpful to have some elders around to caution against the dangers of nationalistic pride taken to an extreme, especially when expressed in needless, costly marches to demonstrate a military strength of which the world is already, often sadly, all too aware.
Shabbat shalom!
©️Corinne Copnick, Los Angeles, 2018. All rights reserved.